TEAM TRIM – Writing of the Week

Congratulations to this week’s Star Writers…Elizabeth and Harvey!

Your challenge this week was to write the Natural History Museum in London, describing an unusual creature which you had seen in your garden.

Elizabeth, what I really like about your writing is the way you have impressed me right at the very beginning by using connectives like ‘Furthermore’ and challenging vocabulary such as ‘species’. You go on to use super starters like ‘Rather interestingly’ and the connective ‘Although’. In addition to your vocabulary and sentences, I like your imaginative ideas such as ‘paws like a squirrel’ and the fact it will turn ‘cold blooded’ if you don’t look after it properly.

Harvey, what a super use of brackets to add an aside! I really like the way you’ve used a range of preposition starts, connectives such as ‘However’ and remembered to use a colon for a list. Your creature really stood out as being quite unique! I really like the idea that you have seen your creature eating something in the neighbourhood and details such as it can ‘scream loud enough to burst your eardrums!’ What an excellent description.

Fantastic writing. Keep it up!

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16 Responses to TEAM TRIM – Writing of the Week

  1. Olivia A says:

    Well Done you two, I love both of your creatures you have thought very carefully about what you are writing, and I am very impressed Well Done !!! ;@

  2. Jodie.Qizilbash says:

    WOW! WOW! Elizabeth and Harvey you to have done so well some people when they are writing they just give up but you have not so well done.Well done to Miss Trim you have worked so hard to help them reach there targets.


  3. Aidan H says:

    Well done Elizabeth and Harvey I really enjoyed reading your big writes! I loved both the descriptions and I’m craving more of your writing!!! They deserve a round of ‘figurative’ round of applaud!

  4. Lewis T says:

    Congratulations to Harvey and Elizabeth! Your writing is outstanding!
    You both have deserved this.
    I bet you know cant wait for those precious Nintendo Wii tickets as i said amazing work, well done.

  5. Emily P says:

    Wow well done Elizabeth and Harvey for some great work you have realy come up with some fab ideas!

  6. Elise M says:

    WOW! A huge well done for the levels you achieved 4b and 4a 5c.

  7. Elliott D says:

    Well done Harvey and Elizabeth your work was great!!

  8. Jade R says:

    Wow! Well done Elizabeth and Harvey, you both did fantastic in your Big Writes! Elizabeth, I really like the way you used a wide range of sentence starters such as: although, rather intrestingly, interestingly and prepositions! You got a great level too!
    Harvey, I really enjoyed reading your Big Write because you have described the creature really well! Your level was amazing too! It looks like Miss Trim was flabbagasted! ( In a good way!)

  9. Maisie W says:

    WOW! Elizibeth you have used some amazing sentence starts and WOW! Harvey what awsome uses of bracets they are both epic peices of work come year 5’s if you keep trying your bound to get some work up ext week!


  10. Emma R says:

    WOW Harvey this is truley STUNNING!! Iam writing at a 5c and I borrowed so many good ideas: humor,super sentance starters and afbulous adjectives! Miss Trim is right this is amazing.

  11. Emma R says:

    Elizebeth you should be pleased a 4b is amazing! You have been a real Risk Taker by using brackets and diffrent sentance starters!
    Well Done!!

  12. Elise M says:

    WOW Harvey! Your writing has defenatly improved since last year! 🙂

  13. Isabelle H says:

    A big WELL DONE. That big write was probaly one of the best big write written in Team Trim this year!!!!!!!! Elizabeth I love your vocabulary due to the fact you use some good sentence starters. Harvey you got an amazing level. When you do your SATS you are going to get an amazing level due to the fact they are amazing big writes.

  14. Abigail R says:

    A great well done to you both!!!You should be so proud of yourselvs for getting your writing on the blog!!! I hope all year sixes do fantastically well in their sats!!

  15. Libby J says:

    Well done both of you ! You should be very proud for producing such amazing wriring! I will be stealing some of your intresting ideas to bring back to Mr.Croutears set!

  16. Miss Cazneaux says:

    Wow! Well done, Harvey and Elizabeth! It’s great to see how much your writing has come on this year! You both should be very proud!

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